NAMES: Cole Haden, Jack Wetmore, Aaron Shapiro, Ruben Radlauer

AGES: Jaded

FROM: New York City

OCCUPATION: Crop farmers

HOBBIES: Sharpening the scythe, moaning

LAST BOOK YOU READ: The Bible

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: A particularly arresting floral arrangement

QUOTE: “Please leave your name and number after the tone and I’ll be sure to return your call.”

PROFILE: Is it possible to look sexy in the bathroom? Ask the Strokes and you’ll get one (white powdered) answer, but ask Model/Actriz while they’re standing in an actively visited porta-potty in a Brooklyn park and they probably won’t agree. Still, fans and critics the world over are united in their response to Model/Actriz, a furious, noise-inflected, and slithering take on dance-punk, using words like “tense,” “powerful,” “chaotic,” and “sexual” to describe the band’s debut, Dogsbody. And after some light polling of quartet, all but one of those descriptors work for their time in the porta-potty. Can you guess which doesn’t?

Thanks for reading CREEM. This article originally appeared in our Fall 2023 issue. Explore the full mag in our archive, buy a copy here, and subscribe for more.