Dear readers,
Yeah that’s right, we’re writing YOU a letter. Didn’t think we could do that, huh? Nothing like breaking the fourth wall on “letter to the editor” conventions. What do you think this is, Harper’s?

One year into printing this rag and we’re just wondering: Where are our presents? We get a zine here and there (thanks!), but we imagined mixtapes, 7-inches, love letters, anthrax, teddy bears... We know it’s a recession and postage is expensive, but if you have something you need to express in the form of a gift—or frankly, an appliance you’re looking to get rid of—the CREEM staff works for casino chips, loose cigarettes, and bruised fruit, so we’ll hungrily accept any token of your love.

—Ed.

FRISBEE FANATIC UPDATE
Hi Creem Team.

I have been watching my latest issue laying on my chair begging for further review. I was totally excited about content I could maybe relate to. I am only a few pages in now and it is very juicy. Nice Job! This issue is much more diverse and relatable.

Hey BTW Creem Team, make a fuckin’ frisbee! BOY HOWDY

Grumpy Talljeeper

a.k.a. The Patron Saint of the very cool Boy Howdy Frisbee

EGOR KLEPTOMANIA
Listened to “Lost Tape - Live in 1970” last night while doing whippets and tokin some devils lettuce. Most definitely stole my face.

thanks for the recommendation,

Love Grant

We hope you got it back, but sounds like you’re doing great either way. —Ed.

ISO DANCING BEARS
Long time reader, first time writer,

You’ve covered all kinds of rock n’ roll but there doesn’t seem to be much love for the jams. Now, y’all did interview the Grateful Dead, which was mighty fine journalism, but that was 53 years ago! Where’s the love for the modern jam scene, bands like Joe Russo’s Almost Dead, Eggy, Phish, Goose—bands that are bringing the heat for 3+ hours every night! Maybe I’ve cooked my brain, and I appreciate brevity, but can you ever really have too much of a good thing?

Alex Roth
Sunny Tampa, Florida

Will write in exchange for good acid and you already have our address. —Ed.

POSTAL MISTAKES IN GOD’S COUNTRY
Folks:
Greeting from ol’Tennessee! I don’t know if I’m just fortunate (really not into luck) or if there wuz a mistake (ain’t complaining) but I just received two (2) [count ‘em] copies of yer mag (summer 2033 or 4th edition). 1 is just fine so I don’t really need 2 of ‘em; wuz thinking ‘bout taking the extree one and leaving it at my docters borin’ medical-advertising/commercial mags rack OR to our local (only 2) music stores (unless they refuse) and hope someone would look/read it (yes, we can read down here, wear shoes and have runnin water PLUS have flush potty. juice feature. Hey, also e-lectricity and lots of roads w/ potholes in um. Some folks are a little short on teeth but they have nice personalities, don’t you no. Anyway, I jist wanted to let you-uns no about what I got to ex-periece too day, jist hope them bills and overdue sh#t don’t start a-comin’ in twos, no what I mean? Y’all take care now, ya-hear. (Hey, would you-uns feature some-uns ‘bout “Bocephefus” (Hank jr.) in a issue sometime… that wood just ‘tickle us pink’ down here in Gods country. (and f*#% “Kiddy Rock”), he be jist “sorry AND an a lowdown cull, I tell you! See you uns on the sunny side.

By now,
Dr. Gonzo

What? —Ed.

HIZZONER PARTICULARS

Re: “New York Ghost”

I’m confused by this article. It was interesting, but the author, Michael Berdan, seems to blame Joel Rifkin’s evil on Rudy Giuliani, and I’m not sure why. Rifkin’s crimes were from February 1989 to July 1993, per the article. Giuliani didn’t become Mayor until January 1994, six months after Rifkin was arrested. How does Giuliani have anything to do with that? I’m not a fan of blaming people for what other people do, but if the Mayor of New York had anything to do with Rifkin, that would be Mayor Dinkins, not Giuliani.

Maybe Berdan can focus his anger on someone relevant or, at least, invest in a calendar.

Dale Jensen
Florida

BLUSHING!!!
Dear Creem,

Are you single?

Inquiring minds want to know.

Yours truly,
Old Man Thayer
Ypsilanti, Michigan

Call me: 626-831-9333. —Ed.

DIDN’T PASS THE SMELL TEST
Dear Creem,
Seriously? A 4 page article on Timmy Vulgar? Are you that desperate for content? That guy stinks. The last thing we need is more dusty old men in your mag. I’m already having trouble getting the smell of mothballs outta my birthday suit.

Sincerely
Brian Jonestown Mascara
NYC

Our olfactory has been on strike for a while. —Ed.

HETHER FORTUNE FAN CLUB
I read Hether Fortune’s pieces on Nickelback and Tom Waits within a few days of each other. Not a bad job of channeling the Creem spirit, I thought—Lester wrote a lot of his stuff in the first person too. Still processing the meta take on Tom Waits, especially the “he’s a clown and so am I” thing. Her personal view of Waits’ work notwithstanding, it takes a lot of skill to make music that sounds like things falling down the stairs, and his song “Take It With Me” shows a romantic side that she flew over at 50,000 feet. Quibbles aside, though, Fortune is a good read.

And the Danny Clinch photo spread was great.

Randy Keller
Toronto