The other day I went looking for a CREEM snack that’s big around the office: chocolate-covered espresso beans. They’re like crack, ideal for a team of world-class editors led by a ham-fisted and malevolent despot. Enveloped in sweet chocolate, this candy doubles as an upper to keep us focused, engaged, and filled with a glimmer of hope despite an endless parade of torment and humiliation.
Anyway, the local Trader Joe’s (or Trader Giotto’s or Trader Jose’s or Trader Joe San’s or whatever racist name features on the kimchi or ravioli or whatever in your cart) always has a giant pyramid of chocolate-covered espresso beans near the checkout line, artfully arranged to promote impulse buys. Except last time, instead of my usual power pellets, there was a giant pile of...pumpkin spice chocolate-covered espresso beans. Two bold flavors together isn’t enough? Turmeric is cool now, why not that, too? Oooooh, what about white truffle? Actually, I love a good aged rib eye. Throw that bitch in there!