Mean Jeans (Christian Blunda, Andrew Bassett, and Richard Messina) and Guantanamo Baywatch (Chevelle Wiseman, Chris Scott, and Jason Powell) are traveling together in GB’s new-to-them GMC Safari minivan from Portland to the pair’s SXSW showcase sometime in the 2010s. The van dies on a desolate stretch of West Texas highway. A towtruck driver arrives and insists that all the guys remain in the Safari he’s raised high above the truck’s cabin, at a severely steep incline, while Chevelle, Guantanamo Baywatch’s bassist and sole woman in the fold, travels shotgun for the 70-odd-mile ride to the nearest town, Ozona.

Phone reception in the region is kaput, and Chevelle is a captive audience, unable to distract herself from her new tow-truck-cabin surroundings or text with her friends riding overhead. “He [said that he] actually used to live there, so he can help us find the right mechanic...the ‘good mechanic,”’ says Chevelle. “I learned a lot about his divorce, the town of Ozona, and really gross car accidents.”

Ozona caters to oil-industry workers and until recently was a dry county. Also—and this is important—nobody walks in Ozona, a point the tow driver really drives home, literally. They arrive at dusk and the “good mechanic” shop has already closed, but the tow driver offers to contact the owner about giving the Safari a look first thing. Next he drives them around to find a hotel for the night. Everyone, save for Chevelle, is still stowed away in the crapped-out Safari hoisted in the air.

Ozona is fucking weird, and Lynchian creepy. They arrive at a series of earless hotel parking lots and similarly unpopulated lobbies, only to find no vacancy, despite being otherwise empty. Turns out, with the oil season approaching, companies already booked up all of the rooms for rig workers ahead of their arrival. Now, with all the empty hotel rooms in town booked, Mean Jeans and Guantanamo Baywatch are fucked.


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