OUR STORY BEGINS just after midnight, not so very long ago. The Dick Cavett Show is in full swing.

Seated on Cavett’s left is John Simon, The New York Critic. On Cavett’s right, in order of distance from him, are Little Richard, Rock and Roll Singer and Weirdo; Rita Moreno, Actress; and Erich Segal, Yale Professor of Classics and Author of Love Story. Miss,Moreno and Mr. Segal adored Love Story. Mr. Simon did not. Little Richard has not read it. ^

Cavett is finishing a commercial. Mr. Simon is mentally rehearsing his opening thrust against Mr. Segal, who is very nervous; Miss Moreno seems to be falling asleep. Little Richard is looking for an opening.

Mr.v Simon has attacked Mr. Segal. Mr. Segal attempts a reply but he is too nervous to be coherent. Mr. Simon attacks a Second time. Little Richard is about to jump out of his seat and jam his face in front of the camera but Mr. Simon beats him out. He attacks Mr. Segal again.