The Man Who Tried To See The Groundhogs
Goldham Anders tried to see the Groundhogs. He tried hard. He tried with fiery spirit, with the full flood force of his blood-tides, with the lanky strong power of his mighty body, with the brilliant biting wit of his remarkable mind. Goldham Anders tried.
The Man Who Tried To See The Groundhogs
by Colman Andrews
Goldham Anders tried to see the Groundhogs. He tried hard. He tried with fiery spirit, with the full flood force of his blood-tides, with the lanky strong power of his mighty body, with the brilliant biting wit of his remarkable mind. Goldham Anders tried.
★ ★ ★
(The scene is a street*front listeningbooth at a large Hollywood record store. Crowded into the tiny chamber is a large counter, emblazoned with the bizarre legend “Juke-Box Jury ”. Behind it sits The Petit inquisitor. Before him, lashed to a Pennsylvania Dutch milking stool with chords of 1/4-ihch mylar recording tape, sits Goldham A nders, hard-drinking editor of a small .metropolitan monthly, lately turned Seeker After The Higher Groundhogs.)
INQUISITOR: They say you tried to see the Groundhogs, Anders. Is that true?
ANDERS: Damned straight. INQUISITOR: But you Tailed, did you not? “
ANDERS:///e shorts.) I did not fail. I was unfairly defeated by a large record company, by 250,000 screaming, mudcaked teenagers? and by The
Elements.
INQUISITOR: The Elements!
ANDERS: Yes. You know. Plutonium, radium, ilium, odium. All those things. But mostly fain.
INQUISITOR: It rained, eh?
ANDERS: In spades.