STEELY D AN The Royal Scam (ABC)

In keeping with our growing interest in media and gossip, this review is written in the manner that John D. Ehrlichman, the novelist, once referred to as 'modified , limited hangout.'

The other day, I received a phone call from Lester Bangs, of this publication, saying that he would like me to review the new album by Steely Dan.

'I don't know anything about Steely Dan,' I said. What I didn't say was that I keep thinking that Steely Dan is the name of the karate champion who will have lost a split decision to Muhammad Ali by time this sees print.

'I'd be interested in youropinion,' Lester said. In Ehrlichman's circles, this is called 'stroking.'

I leapt to the bait. 'Are they the guys who did 'Rikki Don't Lose That Number'?'

Lester said I was right. My historical credentials established, I agreed to review the album if he would do a certain thing, irrelevant to the present topic and therefore deleted, for me. He agreed.