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THE RAMONES

(Pronounced “Boy Howdy!”)

July 1, 1979

HOME: An abandoned subway car between Brooklyn and lower Manhattan.

AGE: As old as your mother's worst fear.

PROFESSION: Bestowing sneaker bliss on the gabba gabba multitude.

HOBBIES: Looking for bubblegum to patch their holey tenny runners; kneecap voyeurism; playing hide and seek and not finding each other; posing three-minute solutions to Monster Mash problems; double-dating.

LAST BOOK READ: Rock Scene!

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Starred in a Roger Corman movie without once uttering the line "Is this the end of civilization?"

QUOTE: What else? "Gabba Gabba Hey!"

PROFILE: Mrs. Ramone's mistake times four arrived kicking and screaming on the music scene just when things seemed bleakest and the world wallowed in multitracked despair; these lightning fast children of the cheeseburger careened through the biz like a '65 pink Mustang, slicing through pretentiousness with one rusty chop of Johnny Ramone's paw, bringing new meaning to the phrase "All-American," and putting Jimmy Carter to shame. Welcome to the 80's, Miz Lillian!

BEER: Boy Howdy!

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