HOME: Plynth-yndyr-Ryvyera-Ryckfyelyd, Wales.

AGE: Decreases proportionately as Nick Lowe’s increases.

PROFESSION: Demonstrating the Gibson Les Paul for interested consumers everywhere.

HOBBIES: Slaking a heavy photographic jones, planning Rockpile albums, guessing Nick’s hair color, making Elvis Costello look tall.

LAST BOOK READ: How To Use A $20 Million Recording Studio To Produce The Sound Of Scratchy 78s by Blind Boy Strummer.

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Honored with a lifetime subscription to GQ, while remaining Rockpilers were feted by Dog World.

QUOTE: “Won’t you take me to funky town? Won’t you take me down to funky town?”

PROFILE: Beginning with a lovely-sculptured Sabre Dance, this minute studio whiz kept-a-rockin’ ’til the world heard him knockin’. The stray cat found stardust at his feet and produced ’til he got Stiff; emerging at the top of the Rockpile, credibility intact, he knows his Swan Song won’t be heard for years...

BEER: Boy Howdy!