THE BEAT GOES ON
GARDEN CITY, MI—The recent successful fusion of human and tobacco cells has led to all sorts of bizarre speculation, not least of which is that scientists may soon be creating a race of “plant people.” According to some published reports, these plant people could work on farms, where they would pick their own fruit, serve as soldiers (risking life and limb, no doubt) and—get this—even work as philosophers, with giant trees spending centuries pondering the cosmos.
THE BEAT GOES ON
Roots Gone Too Far!
GARDEN CITY, MI—The recent successful fusion of human and tobacco cells has led to all sorts of bizarre speculation, not least of which is that scientists may soon be creating a race of “plant people.” According to some published reports, these plant people could work on farms, where they would pick their own fruit, serve as soldiers (risking life and limb, no doubt) and—get this—even work as philosophers, with giant trees spending centuries pondering the cosmos. Or listening to Bob Seger albums, whichever seemed more productive.
The notion of “plant people” does raise some serious questions, however. Will Marijuana People literally smoke themselves into oblivion? Or merely be discriminated against by Art Linkletter? Will Coffee Bean People put Joe DiMaggio on the dole? And will plant people in general be happy working at the mundane jobs they will invariably be slated for...gas station attendants, assembly line workers, and CREEM editors?
Clearly, these are thorny questions.
J. Kordosh
KINDA KINKS: Is That Real COIN In Your Pockets, Davray?