Like the laughing hyena, rock �n� roll fans are a curious, incredible and sometimes pitiful breed. They bring a buzzard�s passions and fanatical brand name loyalty to a style of music that practically begs not to be taken seriously. With a sixth sense for missing the point, fans wear their heroes like neon dashikis, allowing musicians (of all people) to speak for their innermost dialtones. Hey, listen—if it�s attention you want, dress up like a pickle and go sing Trini Lopez songs in front of a dry cleaning establishment!

How can you tell fans from normal people? Do they smell funny? Is their stupidity audible? Do they leave a yellow streak behind them in the swimming pool? You better believe it! But the one thing they all have in common is a primitive belief that an individual�s taste in music means something. What an adorable idea! Every bit as moving as Virginia Graham�s final appearance on Love, American Style. GNU POO AND YOU!