THE AC/DC BOOK OF LISTS
FIVE MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN AUSTRALIAN HISTORY 1. 1770: “Discovered” (for white people) by Capt. James Cook. “Looks like a high risk neighborhood,” he relays to Queen. 2. 1820: Gang-adopted by Britain. 3. 1821: U. K. begins using the country as dumping ground for killers, rapists, thieves, preemies, the chronically late and that sickening couple in the People commercials.
THE AC/DC BOOK OF LISTS
FEATURES
by Rick Johnson
FIVE MOST IMPORTANT DATES IN AUSTRALIAN HISTORY
1. 1770: “Discovered” (for white people) by Capt. James Cook. “Looks like a high risk neighborhood,” he relays to Queen.
2. 1820: Gang-adopted by Britain.
3. 1821: U. K. begins using the country as dumping ground for killers, rapists, thieves, preemies, the chronically late and that sickening couple in the People commercials.
4. 1822-1980: Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.
5.1981: Today? Well, it’s mainly still a desert where people with no clothes on throw boomerangs at each other.
SEVEN SPECIES PECULIAR TO AUSTRALIA And I Do Mean Peculiar:
1. Kangaroo
2. Dingo
3. Wombat
4. Duck-billed platypus
5. Helen Reddy
6. Barking lizard
7. The Koala, which is the only non-primate advanced enough to say “Wake me when if s over.”
SEVEN THINGS OF LESSER IMPORTANCE THAN AC / DC
1. The president’s “dribble-down” theory.
2. Maintaining a “positive” outlook.
3. Being wacky in mixed company.
4. Death.
, 5. The pantyhose that make Debby Boone “feel like dancin’.”
6 . Being burned beyond recognition.
7. Learning to read.
SEVEN THINGS OF GREATER OR EQUAL “IMPORTANCE” THAN AC/DC
1. Egg wrestling results, Extra-Large Division.