BAAL

Starring David Bowie (BBC Television)

by

Cyril Blight

(In March, Bertolt Brecht's Baal, with David Bowie in the title role, was presented on British television. Soon after, the following playlet, written by one of CREEM's London correspondents, arrived in our office.—The Editors)

Scene One: An office in the BBC. London. Comfortable chairs. Tea. Producers. Associate producers. A Benny Hill video plays noiselessly in the background. Outside the window the sky is blue. FIRST PRODUCER: This Baal casting is a regular bitch. Are you sure we can't get Albert Finney? SECOND PRODUCER: Dream on, you pitiful wretch. He's doing a movie with Diane Keaton.

THIRD PRODUCER: (belches, breaks wind) It's that man's lamentable fate. What about Pieter O'Toole? The role calls for a degenerate sot.

FIRST ASSOCIATE PRODUCER: Peter's not doing television. He won't even do American commercials.

SECOND ASSOCIATE PRODUCER: He just turned down Crazy Eddie's.

FIRST PRODUCER: Who else can we get? (sips tea, vomits) How about someone from the "rock" generation?

THIRD PRODUCER: Jagger's doing a tour. Sting's busy. Ozzy Osbourne needs a vacation. SECOND PRODUCER: (guffaws. spits blood) Yes, in the Happy Home For The Bewildered!

THIRD ASSOCIATE PRODUCER: David Bowie is available.