STAR TRECK. Scene One: Writer meets Star.

Okay, lights, cameras. Take One. Winter in Hollywood, sun beaming like a Moonie, friendly guard at the Universal Studios gate points out the path to Soundstage Four. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers are rehearsing there for a tour. Writer gets walking, turns the final corner, and there he is! Heading in her direction, waving as if he knew her, loved by millions, larger than life (actually barely larger than five foot two) the star. AL PACINO!

Okay, okay, cut. Wrong star. Take two. Writer gets dragged away from the Italian actor, sees the massive number 4 over a door, walks in, looks around. Empty. No, there’s a female guard on the verge of nervous collapse. Some rock star’s coming in to rehearse—Tom someone, never heard of him, now A1 Pacino she’s heard of—and she’s got to check the writer’s name off her list. Naturally it’s not there. Saved by Bugs the Roadie who escorts the writer in and gets back to work. The band hasn’t arrived yet. The soundstage is as big and cold as an aircraft hangar in winter.