HAIRY MONSTERS
A couple of issues back, Eleganza admitted that it was at a loss for what to tell you to do with your hair. Wear it long, Eleganza said, and you’re apt to be perceived, depending upon the frequency with which you have it, uh, styled—if you have it styled—as either some pathetic old flower child, a heavy metal cretin, or, if you still have it styled quite frequently and show your stylist a snapshot of Rod Stewart for inspiration when you do, as a shag Tory.
HAIRY MONSTERS
ELEGANZA
(IN NEED OF SLEEP)
by
John Mendelssohn
A couple of issues back, Eleganza admitted that it was at a loss for what to tell you to do with your hair. Wear it long, Eleganza said, and you’re apt to be perceived, depending upon the frequency with which you have it, uh, styled—if you have it styled—as either some pathetic old flower child, a heavy metal cretin, or, if you still have it styled quite frequently and show your stylist a snapshot of Rod Stewart for inspiration when you do, as a shag Tory.
Wear it short, Eleganza said, and you’re apt to blend right in with people who think that Air Supply and Kim Carnes are rock acts. Cut off just the sides, leaving the back long, in what might be described as the Bram Tchaikovsky ’79 cut, and Eleganza will sneer at the mere sight of you, for there’s nothing less hip than that which ceased to be so in recent memory.
(Distant memory, of course, is another thing entirely, as witness the current ultrafashionability of rockabilly hair, which for 15 years couldn’t have been less hip.)