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PHONE CALLS OF THE GODS

The phone rang. "Lemme speak to the editors," said the voice. "This is an editor," someone said, picking up the phone because no one else would. "What do you want?" "WHO IS THIS?" demanded the voice. "Well," smirked the editor. "Who's this, buddy?"

October 2, 1984

PHONE CALLS OF THE GODS

The phone rang.

"Lemme speak to the editors," said the voice.

"This is an editor," someone said, picking up the phone because no one else would. "What do you want?"

"WHO IS THIS?" demanded the voice.

"Well," smirked the editor. "Who's this, buddy?"

"Who am /?" repeated the voice, incredulously.

"Yeah."

"I am GOD!"

"Yeah, right. OK, God, so what's up?"

"What's up?" the voice asked, again incredulous.

"Right."

"What's up is this," came the reply. "I demand you morons create a new Heavy Metal special. I want it to feature all my favorite bands: Van Halen, Motley Crue, Def Leppard, Quiet Riot, Judas Priest, Ozzy Osbourne, Rush, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Billy Squier, Krokus, and Y&T."

"Y&T?"

"That's right, editor," replied the voice. "You may want to fill up space or something."

It was a considerate God, then.

"Anything else?" asked the editor.

"That depends," said the voice. "Will you use new material or reprint old stuff?"

The editor was flabbergasted. "Jesus..." Instantly his head turned to that of a goat.

"Be careful," warned the voice.

"Reprints," the editor squeaked. "Anything else?"

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