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CREEMEDIA

HE CHOPPED UP ANGELA FOR TWO BUS TOKENS! QUEEN OF THE HORMONE WHORES— SLAIN! THE SOCIETY BEAUTY AND THE LUST-CRAZED PIMP! Quick—what magazine do you think these headlines slithered from? C-Span Update? Dismantlers Digest? Cancer Today?

October 1, 1986

CREEMEDIA

BLOOD ON THE RACKS

TRUE DETECTIVE, OFFICIAL DETECTIVE, INSIDE DETECTIVE, DETECTIVE DRAGNET, ET. AL.

by Rick “Lust-Crazed Pimp” Johnson

HE CHOPPED UP ANGELA FOR TWO BUS TOKENS! QUEEN OF THE HORMONE WHORES— SLAIN! THE SOCIETY BEAUTY AND THE LUST-CRAZED PIMP!

Quick—what magazine do you think these headlines slithered from? C-Span Update? Dismantlers Digest? Cancer Today? No, but you’re close—they were all dragged kicking, screaming and bleeding profusely from the perfect late ’80s entertainment device: detective mags!

Nicknamed “dick mags” in the trade, these friendly little books are even more fun than a strip search in the round! They’ve got everything the average CREEM reader looks for in a publication—sex, death, blood ’n’ guts and free stain matching!

Detective mags are pretty hard to miss on the newsstand, thanks to their editors’ brilliant ear for sleazeinducing overstatement. These bouncy blurbs fall into several categories. Most famous is the just-plaindisgusting genre, like VICIOUS SHOTGUN SLAYER BLEW OUT GARY’S GUTS! and KILLER STOLE HER FALSE TEETH AS A SOUVENIR! Or how about my personal fave, THE HOOKER SHROUDED THE NAKED BODY IN CAT FOOD!? Hey—maybe the cat was finicky!

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