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CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE

The wisecracking arrogance of this record is the only rock ’n’ roll attitude that means diddley right now. With the mainstream claimed by sincere Craftspersons and the great tradition of Elvis Presley, Esquerita, Creedence Clearwater Revival, and Madonna sucked into a cultural vacuum by nitwit anarchists and bohemian sourpusses, three white jerkoffs and their crazed producer are set to go platinum-plus with “black” music that’s radically original, childishly simple, hard to play, and accessible to anybody with two ears and an ass.

April 1, 1987
ROBERT CHRISTGAU

CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE

BY

ROBERT CHRISTGAU

THE BEASTIE BOYS "Licensed To III"

(Def Jam)

The wisecracking arrogance of this record is the only rock ’n’ roll attitude that means diddley right now. With the mainstream claimed by sincere Craftspersons and the great tradition of Elvis Presley, Esquerita, Creedence Clearwater Revival, and Madonna sucked into a cultural vacuum by nitwit anarchists and bohemian sourpusses, three white jerkoffs and their crazed producer are set to go platinum-plus with “black” music that’s radically original, childishly simple, hard to play, and accessible to anybody with two ears and an ass. Drinking and robbing and rhymihg and pillaging, the Beasties don’t just thumb their noses at redeeming social importance—they pull out their jammies and shoot it in the cookie puss. If you don’t like the joke, you might as well put your money where your funnybone is and send a check to the PMRC.

A

BOSTON “Third Stage"

(MCA)

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