'Tobacco? That's not tobacco!!'— David Lowery, 1984.

'So we had to go to MTV with the video (for 'Eye Of Fatima') and lie about the lyrics: 'Cocaine? I didn't hear anything about cocaine!' ''—Virgin Records spokesperson, 1988.

With all the sanctimoniously clean just-say-no-pop that's clogging the arteries of rock 'n' roll, it's about time for somebody to spearhead a drugrock revival. Now, just so you don't think I'm implying that that's where Camper Van Beethoven have set their sights, let me say Guns 'N Roses are far more likely to take the bait. It's been said far too often in the underground press that Camper are this generation's Grateful Dead, and while the tag is convenient for random theorizers, it's quite simply not true.