It was the dead rat that did it.

Packed delicately in an artificiallyaged black walnut box with my name inscribed in the same kind of stuff you found dripping out of your molar that one morning and knew it had to go.

Well, this had to go too. Cautiously picking it up by the tip of its tail, I carried it over to the rodent disposal, wondering all the while who in the world would send me such a thing. Just as I prepared to Bombs Away, I noticed some strange markings on the creature's waxy, tail. Fanmail from some flounder? No, this is what I rea//y call a message:

Stranglers/RattusNorvegicus IV On A&M Records

After I'd made a quick appointment for my annual bubonic plague booster, I sat down to ponder the cuteness of the idea. Cute nothing, this was positively adorable I decided as I dialed A&M with a hatchet.

"Gimme a High Ranking Executive and pronto, switchboard-face."

Buzz, whirr.

"Hello Rick! Goddamn, it's been a long time! Haven't seen you since the anniversary party for Peggy Upton's first body hair!"