ROCK-A-RAMA

If I were in a popular rock band that sold a lot of records but didn’t get much critical respect, I would hate Jack White. Think about it: You pay your dues to the ZOSO Recreation Society on time, your bassist has an MBA from Nü Metal U, your drummer’s drum kit is made out of Mjölnir, and your singer has had sex over a dozen times just to be familiar enough with female genitalia to know which part is the lemon and which part is the moneymaker.