Gossip, gossip, gossip. Celebrities, rock stars, and online personalities of no discernible talent all provide gossip grist aplenty. We here at Scene Police, the official CREEM gossip column, can’t get enough of that shit. That said, we are not peephole...uh, peepers? We endeavor to collect and discuss the dirty laundry that musicians are seemingly incapable of keeping in their gold-encrusted hampers. And we’re gonna put it all in one place, so you, our CREEM-y friends, can wallow in it too! Without further ado, let’s get carceral.

EeeOOOO weeeeOOOO weeeeOOOO—hear that siren? Close the tab of your ASMR kidnapping cosplay, make your “Defund Pop Punk” tie-dye hoodie kiss your “Defend Mitski'' long-sleeve T-shirt, and call the cops... ’Cos it’s the Scene Police!

SENTIENT SOUL PATCH TAKES AIM AT JETT

Ted Nugent may think that deer are a disease and germs are a communist psyop, but that hasn’t stopped the two-hit wonder (if you count “Stranglehold” twice) from superspreading some scratch fever of the “catty” variant. The Nuge recently had a Motor City meltdown about Professional Rock ’n’ Roll Enjoyer Joan Jett being No. 87 on a Rolling Stone magazine top 100 guitarists list—from 12 years ago. While it comes as no surprise that a cultural warrior/footnote like Nugent might opt to cry about one of the few women mentioned in a decade-old piece of clickbait canon fodder, rather than finding common ground with a fellow bather in Dazed and Confused soundtrack residuals, Nuge’s complaints are petty even by his standards. Jett, with the confidence born from having successfully pulled off the same haircut since 1981 (not to mention having written and performed actual songs that people actually know), responded with suitable grace and contempt, accusing Ted Nugent of being the worst thing she could think of: Ted Nugent.

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