The problem with the “Infinite Monkey Theorem” (that a monkey pounding a typewriter to infinity will eventually crank out the entire CREEM archive) is the “monkey” part. The monkey will give you what you ask for, but you’ll be dead. If you need primate copy, hire a chimp. We recommend a She Chimp.*

*Artist Ben Klevay, recently seen painting the graphics for the movie Licorice Pizza and taking commissions from a cage at LA’s Virgil Normal store.

But be careful, She Chimps are dangerous, they can rip your buttocks off with their bare hands and eat them. We keep our She Chimp in a cage so you can shop the limited edition She Chimp x CREEM collection without fear of losing your ass. Available exclusively for CREEM and Virgil Normal.