We live in an age where technology has made everything so easy and accessible that many are deluded into believing that even without any training they’re at the level of a professional photographer, designer, model, artist, actor, musician, DJ, writer—“I’m good at EVERYTHING!” The thing about “belief,” though, is that you can believe in anything you want, but that doesn’t make it true. Santa Claus, Jesus, Zeus, and Bigfoot all come to mind in that regard.

“Just ’cause you feel it, doesn’t mean it’s there.”
—“There, There” by Radiohead

I, for instance, like to believe that we are all artists and that we should all be expressing ourselves through art. I want that to be true, but the reality doesn’t seem to match up because ART SUCKS. Almost all of it. And I’m an artist. I make art. I have lived and breathed art my entire life. Have you ever heard of me? No. You know why? Because my art sucks. And so does yours. I’ve never even seen your art, but I know it sucks. (And guess what: No one is going to “discover you” after you’re dead, so stop harboring that stupid fantasy.)

As if art didn’t suck enough, there is the curious phenomenon of musicians who have decided that they too want to dabble in this crap. Only a few hundred years ago they would have been minstrels, clowns, and court jesters, but today we place musicians on a pedestal where we shower them with accolades and exorbitant sums of money. I’ve met lots of them and I can assure you they are tiresome cocksuckers just like the rest of us—probably even worse on account of fame and fortune. And because they are “good” at this one thing—playing guitar, singing, etc.—they believe they are good at all things.

Censored

You need to log in or subscribe to read on

Start Your Free TrialForgot username or password?

LOADING...

The creem magazine archive

Discover why CREEM was the most dangerous music magazine on the planet. Read every issue.

CREEM #01 cover featuring original artwork by Raymond Pettibon coming Sept. 15

Subscribe to CREEM

CREEM Magazine is back. Because if you click on one more listicle, your soul might actually die.

reserve your copy of the first Issue

The Creem Newsletter

Exclusive words, pictures, videos, music, and other CREEMtaminated content all for free.