As I stood in the nutrient-rich festival fields of Tampa, gazing up at the catwalk as Pitbull performed, I considered the ramifications of being Pitbull.

Pitbull has worries, but they are not the same as yours or mine. He projects a unique balance of confidence and vulnerability. The party is wild, and the party is his, but you’re surely invited. And you might want to take your shoes off, the flooring is probably very expensive.

Pitbull mentioned that he occasionally does prefer privacy when he’s about to...have sex with multiple people in a hotel, motel, or Holiday Inn, and that made good enough sense to me. It also made sense to all of the families in the audience in the fields screaming along to the song about Mount Olympusgrade debauchery in a place where you can use the Business Center to check your email without Pitbull looking over your shoulder. But you can hardly blame him; his curiosity for how normal people live their lives must know no bounds.

In fact, Pitbull’s most direct rubbing of elbows and beyond with the regular people of Earth likely happens solely in the hotels, motels, and Holiday Inns. Which leads me to the question I can’t seem to shake: Has Pitbull ever asked for the Wi-Fi code?

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