Scene Police are believers in the utilitarian purpose of gossip: as an escape from thinking about stuff that matters. But truly, in the words of both Paramour and Cro-Mags, it is HARD TIMES. Half the hot goss’ we got this month concerns political violence and bands we love making terrible choices. None of which has been funny to us since Scene Police HQ blocked our dealer numbers from the Scene Police Family Plan.
Desperate for non-heavy gossip, Scene Police even started reading a French Instagram gossip column. We hadn’t heard of hardly anyone on it! We’re pretty sure we got tricked into reading a thousand pages of Fall lyrics, interspersed with the names of former Nickelodeon child stars who suffer from mental illness. Now, not only are we never going to trust anyone named “Bryan,” Scene Police’s phone won’t stop recommending we follow Cat Marnell. (So we did. Love her.)
Anyway, with great evil comes great banality. So, in the words of Shaun Ryder: *extreme Shaun Ryder voice* “Call the cops!”
Or, as Hannah Arendt herself so succinctly put it:
WeeeeOOOOoooooweeeeeOOOOOOOOweeeeeeOOOOOO Scene Police!
Phoebe Flips Bird To Vile Supreme Vultures
Here at Scene Police, we don’t fancy ourselves as Phoebe Bridgers fans of the archetypal “Taylor Swift fans with crumbs in our bed” sort. But only because, historically speaking, we are the crumbs in our bed. Otherwise we’re all in on Ms. Bridgers standom, whether she’s making sad and steely-eyed songs of transcendent grace, calling David Crosby a “bitch” (twice, and counting), or just running down the Potentially Problematic Male Collaborators List and checking every box.
So, while not really gossip even by our expansive use of the term, we were delighted to see her use her Glastonbury platform to call out the Supreme Court from stage, saying "Fuck that shit, fuck America. Like all these irrelevant motherfuckers trying to tell us what to do with our fucking bodies." In this sentiment, she was, in so many words, joined by Lily Allen, Clairo, and Olivia Rodrigo; a veritable constellation of some of contemporary music’s most talented heartbreakers/heartbreakees.
AwoooooooOOOOOOaWOOOOOOOOOOOO! SCENE POLICE!